4 Weeks Pregnant
by angelodicielo
Summary: "Pacifica, you really have to tell me if you're okay. I mean, you're sick and throwing up, your meds haven't been taken, you look really anxious-" He cut himself off, thinking over his fiancée's behavior. "Wait a minute..." Dipper comes home and discovers Pacifica's new secret, but it's not one she wants to keep.


Dipper came home early, going straight to his bedroom to cuddle up against Pacifica. When he saw she wasn't in the bedroom, his stomach dropped a little. He looked around the room and checked the other rooms too. It wasn't until he was back in the entrance room that he saw Pacifica laying on the couch, curled up small under a throw blanket.

"Pacifica?" He whispered. He squatted closer to her level and shook her shoulder slightly. "Hey? You okay?"

She moaned a turned over, but her slightly pale complexion and slow movement suggested she was more than just tired.

"Hi, honey. You're home early." She smiled slightly, but it didn't last long before she moaned again and curled up a little more.

"Yeah, I was gonna crawl into bed with you, but I couldn't find you. Are you okay? Why're you on the couch?"

"I don't feel good. Could you...could you get me a cup of ginger ale and some crackers, please?"

Dipper nodded and went to the kitchen, finding a package of crackers already open on the counter and the half drinken ginger ale in the fridge. He took away the first couple crackers exposed to the air and staling so he could give the rest to her.

"Pacifica, are you okay? Do you need to go the doctor?"

He put the crackers on the coffee table and held the ginger ale for her as she took a sip through the straw he placed in it.

"No. No," she said, sitting up enough to eat the crackers, supporting herself by her arm. "I know why I'm sick. I'll tell you later. I just wanna rest a little more." And with that, she lay down again.

Dipper helped respread the blanket over her body and kissed her head. "Okay. I'm gonna be in the room when you wake up. Are you sure I shouldn't be worried?" He rubbed her back while she gave a small nod and slept again.

Dipper went to his room to unpack his bags. He was in the bathroom, putting away his toiletries, when he noticed Pacifica's weekly pill container still full. He opened the cabinet mirror and saw the orange prescription bottle still full with plenty of pills from the month before. He went out to question her about it, but heard horrible gagging and dry heaving noises from the kitchen. Dipper put the bottle down and ran out to the main room to check on Pacifica who was leaning over the kitchen sink, trying to breathe through her nose as nausea washed over her.

"Pacifica?"

She didn't even turn around to acknowledge him. She just continued to dry heave and reach for her ale to calm her body. As she drank, Dipper tried getting her attention again.

"Pacifica, you really have to tell me if you're okay. I mean, you're sick and throwing up, your meds haven't been taken, you look really anxious-" He cut himself off, thinking over his fiancée's behavior. "Wait a minute..."

Pacifica's stomach began feeling something else. Her nausea was exchanged for butterflies, but it still made her want to throw up.

"The sickness...not taking meds...oh my god..." His eyes went wide and he seemed to lose all his breath at once. "Pacifica...are you pregnant?"

Something about the word made her cringe on the inside. She hated hearing it from other people. But she nodded at him and he went over to comfort her. For a while, they didn't speak. Dipper hugged her tightly and buried his head in the crook of her neck, giving her a couple kisses. Pacifica hugged back, trying to avoid touching her lower abdomen against him. After what seemed like hours, she finally spoke.

"About a month. 4 weeks, they said. I went to the doctor's a few days ago." There was something off about the way she spoke: her tone was sad.

Dipper pulled back and looked at her. Even her face was anything but happy and excited.

"You...you don't want the baby?" He asked.

Pacifica widened her eyes and took a deep breath. "I don't think we're ready." She admitted.

"Pacifica," he held her hand and led her to the couch to sit. "Paz, do you...do you want an abortion?"

Pacifica curled up and didn't look him in the eye. She couldn't with the blurring of tears beginning up.

"Kinda. I just..." She took in a deep breath. "I just don't think we should have a baby right now. You're always out and busy with work and I'm barely making money myself."

"Paz, if this is about money, don't worry! We get paid more than enough to support a baby."

She shook her head. "This isn't about money. You're just...you're just never around that much. And I don't mind that, but if we have a baby, I'd want you-"

"You'd want me around more often." He finished. He brought Pacifica back in for a hug and kissed the top of her head. More silence went by before either of them spoke. Dipper was first. "If you really want an abortion, we'll get one."

Pacifica looked up at him. "Are you sure?"

"Are _you_ sure?"

Pacifica nodded.

The next few days felt long and restless. Pacifica continued being sick and managing while Dipper, insisting he was supporting her decision, seemed to give the cold shoulder towards her. He still got her ale and crackers to manage the nausea and made her favorite foods before their appointment at the clinic come Monday, but he didn't touch her often. A rub on the back, kiss on the lip, and a hug were usually what she got, but he almost refused to cuddle before sleeping anymore or even do anything that could possibly result in his hand on her stomach. She hated it. Pacifica hated him and hated the baby and hated the whole situation.

Sunday night, Dipper slept facing his study area like he had been the last few nights. Pacifica lay on her back, awake with anxiety about what would happen after tomorrow. She look at Dipper and was jealous at how at peace he seemed to be. She shook his shoulder to wake him.

"Dipper...Dipper, wake up. I have to ask you something."

Dipper stirred and hazily turned to face her, muttering a "What?" her way.

"Dipper, do you still love me?"

Dipper blinked his tired eyes a few times letting seconds tick by before answering. "Yeah. Why would you ask me that at..."-he turned slightly to see the time-"1am?"

"Will you still love me after tomorrow?"

"Tomorr-you mean today? Yeah, yes, I'll still love you. Goodnight."

He turned over again, but that only made Pacifica mad. She turned to her bed side table and grabbed her water glass, pouring the remains onto the back of his neck! Dipper jolted awake and shook away the water dripping down his back, cursing out at the culprit.

"Fuck! Pacifica! What the hell?!"

"Dipper, I'm serious!" She yelled back.

"And I'm serious too! Serious about going to bed! Goodnight!" He huffed and went back to his sleeping position under the covers.

Pacifica only got madder, sat up, and started hitting him with her pillow repeatedly. "Do! You! Love! Me?!"

"Pacifica! You're acting crazy!" He snatched the pillow away from her and fought her for it before she gave up and pouted. Pacifica slammed her fists on the bed before storming out of the bedroom. Dipper rolled his eyes and threw back the covers. "Pacifica! Come back here! What was that all about?" He yelled after her, following her into the kitchen.

She turned on the ceiling light, blinding them both temporarily. When they regained their sight, Pacifica continued her tantrum, Dipper still pleading for answers.

"Pacifica, I don't know what you want me to say." He admitted in defeat. "'I love you'? 'You're my one and only, the apple of my eye, the blood in my veins'? What?"

Pacifica grabbed some cold leftovers from the fridge and began heating them. She crossed her arms and refused to look at Dipper as the timer counted down. When the microwave beeped, she still didn't say anything until she finished mixing up the food ferociously.

"You just don't care!" She yelled. "You just don't care about me and what I've been feeling or the baby-"

"The baby?" Dipper interrupted. He let out a chuckle, meaning to be sarcastic. "The baby! You don't think I care about the baby!"

"You don't!"

"Pacifica, I'm not the one who wanted you to get an abortion in the first place! That was all your idea!"

"You said I should do it!"

"Because you said that's what you wanted!"

"Well I don't!" She yelled so loudly, it echoed off the walls and the two of them went silent.

"What?" Dipper asked in a more calm voice.

Pacifica turned back to her food and barely stirred it some more while the anxiety began making her shake. She couldn't control it and her whole body began to sweat as she broke down crying. She cried so hard, she started choking and couldn't get her words out. It was an ugly cry like when a child throws a fit and all they can do is breath heavily, wipe the snot from their nose away, and try as they might, their crying cracks from their throat in a high pitch whine.

Dipper watched all this, nearly terrified at this breakdown, not knowing what to do. He ran to the nearest bathroom and grabbed a roll of toilet paper for her. Pacifica slid down against the counter cupboards and brought her knees against her chest, rocking herself while she sobbed endlessly. Dipper came back and sat with her, encouraging her to take the tissues and wipe her face clean while holding her in his arms, whispering "Shhh...it's okay" every once in a while.

Once Pacifica finally regained control of herself after what seemed like hours, but probably more for 15 minutes, she admitted she didn't want an abortion.

"Paz," Dipper tried to sooth her. He still sat on the floor with her, but her head was in his lap, body curled up, and hair being stroked for comfort.

"I mean, I thought I did because it just seemed reasonable, you know?" She said between remaining sobs. "But then you said you wanted it too and didn't even try to suggest anything else and I...I-I just got so mad. I thought you didn't care at all. And then you refused to cuddle me or hug me or do anything that would touch my stomach and I thought you thought I was a bad person. I thought you didn't love me and thought I was a murderer or something!"

She sobbed again, this time for a few seconds, before regaining control.

Dipper listened to all this and felt teary eyed too. He wanted to hug her and kiss her and tell her that was all wrong and he loved her so much and he knew he'd love that baby too.

"Paz," his voiced cracked slightly. "Pacifica, I could never hate you. You're annoying and bratty and loud and dramatic and have been since the day I met you. But here we are over 10 years later and I'm so madly in love with you it hurts and I hate seeing you like this. I thought you really wanted that abortion and I knew you were thinking about what was best, but I was honestly so happy when you told me you were pregnant. Then you started talking about how I was never here and how we're both busy right now...I just...I don't know. I wanted to support you because I thought you'd hate me if I didn't."

"I thought you stopped loving me because I suggested the abortion. You seemed pretty fine with it at first, but also still hated me. Hated that I was pregnant."

Dipper looked at her and did his best to lean down and give her a kiss on her tear stained cheek comfortably.

"I could never ever hate you for that. Pacifica, I honestly want this baby. And I could talk to the network about letting me stay the first few months when it's born. I want to be here for you and it."

Pacifica didn't smile. She didn't cry again either. She just lay their, absorbing his words.

"I want this baby, too."

"I know you do. We can make this work-I promise. We'll cancel the appointment and I'll call my bosses...Paz?"

She finally turned over and looked at him.

"I love you." He bent down for another kiss on her lips, both of them smiling through it.

"I love you, too."

For the first time that week, Dipper happily placed a hand on her covered stomach, just slightly below her belly button. He looked at it and smiled. "And I love you, too."

Pacifica giggled and sat up. Dipper stretched before standing, offering Pacifica his hand to help her up too.

"Do you want to still eat this?" Dipper said, pointing at the room temperature plate of food.

Pacifica smiled and shook her head. "I'll wrap it again and meet you in bed."

A few minutes later, Pacifica returned seeing Dipper laying under the sheets, facing towards her side. She got tucked in, letting herself be pulled in by Dipper's hug. It was nice to feel his warm body against her back, both curled up tightly together, legs intertwining. The couple dozed off, but Pacifica felt Dipper's hand move lower on her abdomen and rest right where he had it just minutes ago. He gently rubbed his thumb against her soon-to-be bump.


End file.
